A Ring on the Finger?
I went to the doctor yesterday in the medical center that is on campus and I think I had the best doctor´s visit I have had in a long time- probably because the guy was so cute.While he was busy prescribing me antibiotics for my bronchitis, I was busy checking out his ring finger- WHAT? Since when have I ever looked at ring fingers to see if a guy is married? Never... before yesterday.
And then I started to think- I guess the guys that I have been meeting are in the apropriate age bracket of marraige. And while that is definitely not what I am looking for, I guess it is something that does need to be considered before trying to get his phone number (not specifically the doctor´s- I mean anyone´s). But if I think about it, there are several people from my graduating high school class with families of their own. Scary. That means that I am growing up.
But in Santiago, the situation is a bit different because half of the time people don´t even wear rings, let alone talk about their significant other.
Take my friend Claudio for example- I met him in Reno because he studied at UNR for a year. Up there, we weren´t best of buds but we talked occasionally and he was at my birthday party. Here in Santiago, we went to lunch and talked about going scuba diving together, sent some emails, and then he invited me to his brother´s house for a get-together.
Upon arrival, I walked in and he introduced me to everyone, including his "Señora". I didn´t get it at first. But then it dawned on me- he is married! I had no idea- he lives with his parents and he had never before mentioned having a wife in the whole year and a half that I have known him. And it isn´t like he got married recently because he has an 8 year old son with her!
Now mind you- he never tried to make a move on me and I didn´t ever see him with anyone in Reno. And while I guess it isn´t morally wrong to just "not mention" a wife and kid (with one on the way!)- it is a little deceptive.
But in a country where divorce was legalized less than two months ago (after a twenty year debate in Congress), I guess I can´t be too suprised. When people in general live in a culture in which they haven´t had the option to separate from someone and legally marry a new partner- I guess the law won´t prevent them from looking. And that is evident considering that the infidelity rate here is sky high. But it works because everyone accepts it.
But is that the way the rules work down here in Santiago? Or in Latin America? Maybe so, because my friend Adrien has had some problems with a classmate coming on to her, to later discover that he is married and his wife is coming to visit soon (he is Mexican and the wife still lives up there). Now that, I would say, is morally wrong.
I don´t mean to generalize all people because not all people cheat on their spouses. But when something is accepted as the norm- does that mean it is neccesarily right? And from who´s perspective? This isn´t my culture, but I am immersed in it, and that knowledge of the cheating tendency definitely makes me a bit wary of even dating someome down here...including really cute doctors.
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